SCOTUS's greatest hits

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that the Constitution guarantees women the right kill their unborn children for pretty much any reason up until an arbitrary point in the pregnancy, after which they need a lame excuse.

It has also ruled that starving a person to death or depriving that person of water is not killing that person, but only withholding medical treatment.

That being the case, should it be any surprise that despite the clear botanical fact that, having a multiplicity of seeds, the tomato is a fruit, the Court ruled in Nix v. Hedden in 1893 that in the eyes of the law it is a vegetable?

The Court's logic, as it happens, was considerably more compelling than that of either Roe v. Wade or Cruzan v. Director. The ruling pointed out that the tomato is related to potatoes, eggplants, red peppers, and other members of the Solanaceae family traditionally used in appetizers and entrees, but not to the apples, peaches, berries, and other fruits customarily found in desserts. Ergo, the Court held, the tomato is a vegetable, and not a fruit.

The Court gets one right every once in a while. Bush v. Gore, for example. But next time you hear someone wax eloquent about "a woman's right to choose" being guaranteed by the Constitution, ask that person whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable- and whether the Court's opinion on the matter makes it either.

Comments

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