Since Islam prohibts the use of alcoholic beverages, one can only assume that some other mind-altering drug is responsible for this delusion.
Of course, given the proclivity of large segments of the American public to waive the white flag the moment waging war becomes inconvenient, I would be the last to say that our nation is incapable these days of losing a war to even Lichtenstein or Monoco. Never underestimate the capacity of the Left (and that tiny bunch of misfits that claim to be somewhere on the Right, the Paulistas) to want to surrender to anybody, anywhere.
But no. Iran is not about to defeat us in a war. Not in this space/time continuum.
Still, don't worry, Iranians. If your president or the Grand Ayatollah visits Washington, President Obama will be more than happy to bow to him anyway.