His family, National Review reports, is at a loss to describe the stab and slash wounds on his body.
I wonder what "Bejing Bobby's" take on this would be. Doubtless it would be as hilarious as his attempts to defend the indefensible usually are.
In any case, take warning, adults: keep sharp objects out of your bed at all times. Especially if you're in China. Especially when they're being wielded by Party goons.