Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?

A just got this by e-mail from a friend. Perhaps you've seen it; perhaps not. But it's good for a chuckle... and not entirely devoid of truth!

Question: How do you tell the difference between
Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following
question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist
with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises
the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a
Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day
and make this happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips or hollow points?"