Those poor Royals announcers!

It was New York sportswriter Franklin Pierce Adams who penned a poem paying tribute to a legendary Chicago Cubs double play combination which- some say even more than their play- ensured their baseball immortality.

The story is that Adams wrote a piece one day that his editor said was too short. To fill up space, he penned the lines which- more than anything else he ever wrote- helped make his mark in the chronicling of our national pastime- a poem entitled Baseball's Sad Lexicon:

These are the saddest of possible words:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double-
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

The "double" in question is a double play. There have been many Cub infields which have routinely turned opponents' hits into doubles of the other kind, too, but it was not to such a habit which Adams refers here.

I noticed that the Kansas City Royals have revamped their own double play combination in the past week. They signed former Cardinals (and Cubs) second baseman Mark Grudzielanek and Boston Red Sox first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz. As soon as I heard the news, my heart overflowed with compassion for the poor Royals announcers, and I was moved to compose the following lament in the spirit of the immortal Adams:

These are the hardest of possible words:
"Berroa to Grudzielanek to Mientkiewicz."
Trio of Royals, with names for the birds:
Berroa and Grudzielanek and Mientkiewicz.
Threat'ning to drive play-by-play men insane,
Filling their jaws and their tongues both with pain,
When more than one out on one play they attain:
"Berroa to Grudzielanek to Mientkiewicz."

Having to say that over and over again could prove to be almost as great a trial as having to watch the Royals play every day.