"Oh God (if there is a God), save my soul (if I have a soul)"

Worshipping regularly can add three years to your life.

An eternity, in fact- the Gospel is proclaimed there in accordance with a pure understanding of it, and the Sacraments administered in agreement with the Gospel.

However, if you're a member of Daystar, relax. The physical health benefits, at least, also obtain if you pray to Allah.

Or your bedroom dresser, for that matter- provided only that you pray to it regularly

"To whom it may concern," it seems, is good enough.