Some little-known facts about Fred Thompson

IMAO has a list of little-known facts about Fred Thompson (similar to that list about Jack Bauer that's made its way around the blogosphere).

Some of my favorites:

Though Fred Thompson left the Senate in 2003, Harry Reid still hasn't stopped wetting his pants.

Not only does Fred Thompson cut taxes, he cuts tax collectors.

Fred Thompson reconsidered running for reelection after 9/11 but later decided to handle things on his own. He was soon seen entering the Middle East with a bottle of tequila in one hand an a handgun in the other. They're still counting the dead.

Fred Thompson's gaze can kill small animals.

Webster's Dictionary defines "conservatism" as "how closely one's views resemble those of Fred Thompson."

The actual cause of global warming: Fred Thompson's burning rage.

The budget to Law & Order was dramatically increased when Fred Thompson was added to the cast because he has to be digitally inserted into the scenes since anytime he's near Hollywood liberals, he kills them.

Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Fred Thompson.

Fred Thompson once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.

The Fremen consider "Fred Thompson" to be a killing word.

Every night before Before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

Fred Thompson's sense of strategy is so great that he can checkmate you using only a pawn and a knight.

Fred Thompson can know both the exact position and momentum of a particle. Furthermore, he knows Schroedinger's cat is dead because he personally strangled it.

And from a commenter:

If Fred Thompson had been at Thermopylae, the title of that new movie would be '1.'

It should be admitted that a few of these slightly overstate the case.