Skip to main content

No ifs, ands, or butts: Trump even lied about his colonoscopy!

Donald Trump is a pathological liar.

So is Hillary Clinton, of course. But The Donald has raised lying to an art form. He lied his way through the Republican debates. He's lied about his past positions on almost every issue. And when he gets caught in a lie- which he does regularly- well, he tries to lie his way out of it.

He even lied about having had a colonoscopy.

Now, I know a thing or two about colonoscopies. Let me sound a "too much information" warning before we go any further.

I've had more than my share of colonoscopies in the past three years. The first was in the spring of 2013 when I finally had the colonoscopy all men should begin having every five years once they turn 50. I was 63.

Sure enough, it turned out that I had a malignant tumor in my colon, a third of which was removed a few months later.  Six jolly months of chemo followed.  I had two annual colonoscopies after that. Things are presently going so well that I don't have to have another one for a couple of years, by which time I will- assuming all continues to go well- be officially considered cured.

Having had three colonoscopies in as many years, I can tell you that the day before the procedure you don't go anywhere. You get to chug a gallon of a salty substance ironically called "GoLytely."

You do not go "lytely." You go heavily. You go, and you go, and you go until your bowels are pristine. And then you go some more. When you actually undergo the procedure, you are sedated in such a fashion that you remember only bits and pieces of it and are apt to act in a rather loopy fashion even if you are not Donald Trump. It takes the rest of the day to recover from the sedation, much less get your alimentary canal functioning again, and rejoin the human race.

Donald Trump claims to have had a colonoscopy about the same time I did, on July 10, 2013.

But he tweeted all day that day. The article linked to above reproduces those tweets.

That article exercises great restraint in only implying rather than stating the most compelling reason of all to believe that he did not in fact have a colonoscopy that day. My restraint isn't quite up to that level, but I'll try to be delicate: Donald Trump needs to drink a couple of gallons of "GoLytely" with every meal.


Popular posts from this blog

McMullin, Kasich, Hickenlooper, Huntsman, or somebody else sane in 2020!

I don't expect to be disenfranchised in 2020. I'm looking forward to Evan McMullin running against President Trump and whatever left-wing extremist the Democrats nominate. McMullin may or may not run for the Senate next year, and he may or may not run for president as an independent again next time around, but the nation can't afford to lose its most eloquent and intelligent critic of the populist takeover of the Republican party and the Executive Branch. We need the man in public life.

But interesting alternatives have developed. Ohio Gov. John Kasich has been mentioned as a potential primary challenger for Mr. Trump. I hope somebody continues the fight for the soul of my former party, even though I believe it to be a lost cause. Entrepreneur Mark Cuban is reportedly also considering a challenge to Mr. Trump. While I tend to see him at this point as somewhere to the left of where a candidate I would feel comfortable supporting might be, I would wish him well. Still, I see…

A modest proposal for a shocking innovation which is completely within the rules but which would, if adopted, revolutionize college football

I call it defense.

The idea- crazy as it may sound- is to supplement the scoring of points by your offense with an attempt to stop the other team from scoring them. Yeah, I know.  Really "out there," isn't it? But it has a history of winning not only games but championships. Modern college teams should try it more.

I'm a bit bummed about the Rose Bowl outcome but amused by the score. It seems that certain conferences aren't sure whether they're playing college football or high school basketball! I've noticed that in the scores of Sooner games. Last season the nation's college teams set a record by scoring an average of slightly more than 30 points each per game. That's a lot. Historically, that's a REAL lot.

The final score of the Rose Bowl was 54-48, though to be fair that was in double overtime. But to get there, the teams had to be tied 45-45 at the end of regulation! Last year was even worse. Southern Cal beat Penn State 52-49- in regulat…

A third party President in 2020?

I had the pleasure of meeting Joel Searsby, the campaign manager for Evan McMullin last year, at an event for Evan here in Des Moines during the campaign. Here's an interview with Joel by Jon Ward of Yahoo News on the ways in which centrist French President Emmanuel Marcon's out-of-nowhere landslide election last year may serve as an example for the inevitable bid to elect a rational, moderate third party candidate in 2020.

I have a feeling that it will be Evan McMullin again. But names like John Kasich, the Governor of Ohio, and Sen. Lindsey Graham also keep popping up. Word is that Kasich may challenge President Trump for the 2020 Republican nomination, an endeavor in which I'd wish him well but hold out very, very little hope for his success. I sadly expect that my conviction that the Republicans are dead as a vehicle for rationality and the reuniting of our fractured and divided country to be confirmed by the easy renomination of the most unfit and unqualified preside…